I awoke to find an angel sitting eating an apple up upon an apple tree. What i was doing sleeping next to an apple tree i do not know, as a child i was fond of Sir Isaac Newton. He liked how i smelt, stroking my hair frequently he would tell me how much a pineapple would cost from my bloody Aunt. We spent hours eating cucumber slices with Derek my pet salamander (he later choked and died but it was ok, i did not let it put a downer on my day.) The salamander was not my favourite pet, it was my Sally, Sally the Mosquito. She was a breath of fresh air, our walks brought terrible pain as she had lost two of her legs in a cycling accident. I was in it too i lost my head but luckily i had a spare in my Volkswagen Beatle. Sally gave me a blood transfusion as we are both AB positive. Now despite Sally and mine, or should i say mine and Sally's deep connection, which spread beyond the rarity of our blood types, the real love of my life was and still is Corbyn, Corbyn was and still is a Korean pirate who had cornea troubles. Corbyn did not like lettice, especially iceburg lettice, it reminded him of his travels, his travels on his vast boat "The New Sally" it crashed on an iceburg shaped like a piece of lettice. The lettice cracked the vessel in two, his travels were over. Corbyn shivered as the past came flooding back. His past contained many a horrible thing, including his incredible uncomprehensible fear of New York City. As one day he was walking along the street, taking everything in his stride. Looking left, looking right, looking right, looking left. And all of a sudden he heard a crunching. He was perplexed as there was no snow or leaves, and so he looked down and there was a dead puppy. He had stood on a puppy. Quite out rageously the puppy turned into an extravagant carpet, which ate his toes with one bite, which made his whole night utter shite as he could not balance when he danced. He once said ' Dancing was my biggest hobby, it would entertain me for hours, days, years. There was always time for a little shake, i would always try and find time for it. Oh shit i am pregnant! With a swan! Note to self use a condom when approaching a wild bird. It hurt alot when the wild bird gave me head. Note. Note to self beaks + penis = Bad.
This is me in my human cctv robot thing [above] For this performance i was bring the person who usually watches the cctv footage in another room into the room with you. This was to show how the traditional bellboy had been replaced by technology which is making peoples lives have even less human interaction. Whilst performing this i thought i would intimidate others, which it did a little but it also intimidated me inside the box as i could not see what the people were doing as they would move out of camera shot to avoid it as no one likes being watched. So my project back fired on me but i learnt that you cannot predict the audiences reaction all of the time and you cannot predict what it will feel like for yourself in that possision
